It's like a repeat of Freshman year

It’s funny though because I’m the one advising incoming freshmen, yet I can’t even follow my own advice. I keep telling them to be themselves because if you try to change yourself, you’re just going to end up hating yourself. Yet, you see me here, almost completely out of my comfort zone with all the OLs, and trying to change myself to fit the mold of everybody else. To try and get them to accept me.

I always feel like such an introvert compared to everyone else. I think growing up as an Asian American has influenced this idea for me that I should be quiet and I should be perfect in every way. I still have trouble admitting I’m wrong. I still have trouble being verbose. Yes, compared to other Asians I am very verbose. But compared to all the other Americans that have been raised as third generations and beyond, I’m not. I fear voicing my opinions. I fear being wrong. But most of all, I fear being judged.

We played Never Have I Ever (sober edition what what) last night, and I did the one fact that I’m somewhat proud of, somewhat ashamed of, but mostly use just to get everybody to put their finger down and that’s the fact that I’ve never made out with anybody EVER. Sometimes, I like to pretend I haven’t even kissed anybody just because I don’t consider the person I dated in eighth grade alive or existent in my life. I admitted this after saying “DONT JUDGE ME” and the only response I got was wow, mad respect. I felt more comfortable, more safe, less judged, and more accepted after that night. It wasn’t really significant, but I felt a difference with all the people in the room. At the same time, I’m pretty sure EVERYBODY is self-conscious about how people perceive them. It’s just a whole party of paranoid people all in a group trying to love one another because they themselves don’t want to be judged.

I think the one advice that I really need to keep reminding myself is to remain open minded. If I just think that everybody forgot to invite me to stuff because they don’t like me, I’m never going to trust anybody. I’m never going to realize the love and care they may actually show me. I keep assuming everybody thinks I’m different and hates me because I’m so negative and I keep complaining all the time. But after TWIGS tonight at church, I was able to put all my burdens and frustrations onto God and open my mind to everything. He is able to help me through all problems and everything will get better in time.

In reality, nobody hates me. Nobody thinks I’m completely different in a negative sense. Everybody is accepting. Everybody knows who I am and treats me like a family member. I just have to make the extra effort to be open minded and realize this.

The Greatest Feeling in the World

Being with friends without any worries.

On the last day of finals, my friends and I decided to celebrate by going to the Prudential Center and getting Pinkberry right before it closed. It was spontaneous, it was fun, it was the greatest night of my life. People who were with me that night may not have thought of it as any special. It was simply another night of hanging out. But I think the greatest part about that night was the fact that there were no burdens behind me. I had nothing to worry about, nothing to fear. I no longer had to think, “Oh, I have this and this to do when I get back.” or “I still have to do this”. Everything was at peace and nothing was stressing me out.

When a friend of mine wanted to be “rebellious” and took one of the ads from the phone store stands, I didn’t even yell at him, or tell him to hurry up so that I could get back on campus and not get caught. Even if we did get caught, I would be okay with it because I’m not wasting any time. It was great not having to be the usual impatient New Yorker I am. It was a night that I could simply spread my arms open and literally run wild and free. The fresh air in my face and the happiness that was all around me that signified all the stress that has been accumulating the past 8 months of my life GONE. It was just a night that I didn’t have anything on my mind but freedom.

I don’t know if I’ll ever have a night like that ever again. I don’t know if I’ll ever experience something like that ever again. But I really wish I could. I really do.

“Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called “Landslide.” When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite”

-Perks of Being a Wallflower

Goodbye Boston. See you in 2 weeks.

I don't know what it is about being in Boston, but it just gives me a whole different life. It's like a separate world from the life I have at home, but there is still some sort of way of combining the two. I have my own set of friends in Boston, my own set of rules, and my own family. Yet, as I step foot back into New York, everything feels so different. Everything is changing without me being there and I feel as if I'm an outsider. I don't know what group I belong in, I don't know who to hang out with, and I'm constantly reminded of my friends back in Boston.

Remember the first day of Freshman year back in September, when you would compare the new friends you made in college to your friends back at home? I feel like it's the complete opposite now. Everything my friends say or do, I'm reminded of memories of my new home in Boston. I can't even call New York my home anymore because it truly does not feel like it. I feel like I'm just living in a dream and I'll wake up soon, in two weeks.

I think the hardest part about being home is bringing the two worlds together. Yet, this has been my greatest accomplishment since I've been home. My home church is slowly falling apart, and the leaders don't know what to do to sustain the fellowship any longer. They have no fresh ideas and they have no way of growing people towards God. As soon as I got home, that was the first thing I addressed to my friends. I gave them the idea of small groups and how the small groups at my "home" church in Boston did things. I gave them the basic idea of how we go over the sermon and reinforce it so that it sticks. The best news I have received when I came back to Boston for the weekend was an email that told me that they were doing a discussion on last week's sermon. I hope to follow up on this idea and continue helping the fellowship.

There's definitely a reason why I'm here in Boston, and there are signs of me never returning back home for good. There will be people who hate me for it and there will be people who love me for it. I'm at a crossroad where I can continue to grow in God with a great support group and a great church, or I can continue growing my real home church in NY to be the support group and build a great church. I think I still need some time to think about it because I'm truly not sure what the future holds. We'll see where God brings me in 4 years and we'll see then.

On a happier note, I played for graduation yesterday (reason why I'm only in Boston for 4 days) and I've never been happier to be part of it. It reminded me of where I'll be in 4 years and how much knowledge (hopefully) I will gain from it, but only if this is the path that I'm supposed to be following, Lord willing.

I just spent the last 13 hours of my life studying organic chemistry NONSTOP

And you know what? I'm perfectly okay with it. I can live forever stressing myself over chemistry, and I wouldn't even care because it's something that I love and it ironically gives me some sort of THERAPY.

Last time I did something this crazy, I studied EQUILIBRIUM for AP chem for over 8 hours, nonstop with no television and only stopping to eat, just so I can fully understand it and get a good grade on the test. This time, I locked myself up in the basement with 10 other people studying organic chemistry nonstop with no facebook, no rest, and only stopping for coffee and food. It was continuous, time flew, and I'm perfectly okay. I feel some sort of accomplishment, and I really wanted to learn. It was like a natural drive for chemistry, which is exactly why I'm a chemistry major.

Every single time I go about a certain part of organic chemistry that I don't understand, I question my choice in majoring in chemistry at all. But it's times like these where I learn why I chose chemistry in the first place. And then I ask myself, "what else would you major in?" and I seriously could not tell you. I don't know what else I could be doing besides chemistry.

Why Education?

I've been asked that a lot ever since I officially declared that I would be pursuing an education minor. Sometimes, I say that it's because I can't see myself doing research for the rest of my life. Other times I ask myself the same exact question and don't know how to answer. But I think it's about time that I blogged about it so that I have something to look back on in case I ever do question my choice in my future career path.

I chose education because I love talking.
I'm a pretty extroverted person. There are times when I do need time to myself, but I can't be alone by myself for the rest of my life. I can't work in a lab and be antisocial and NOT talk to people. I need social interaction to live, to thrive, and to pursue. What better job to never stop talking than to be a teacher?
Through my social interaction, I want to be able to influence my students to do what they love. I know that some students will absolutely HATE chemistry while others may fall in love with it. But hopefully through all the struggles that we will go through to try and reach the endpoint, I'll be able to influence my students' future career plans and goals. I want to mentor students and get them to strive for higher goals and higher expectations. I want to see my students succeed right before my eyes and know that without our hard work, this would have never happened.

I chose education because I love teaching.
I live for that lightbulb moment. When a tutoree comes in not knowing or understanding anything, and suddenly comes to realization of how a certain formula or idea works... yeah. that. I want to make sure that every student understands what I teach and what indicates a definite success in teaching is when they begin to apply what they learn in the classroom outside of the classroom. When gas laws no longer pertain to just PV=nRT but also to soda bottles and balloons. When you begin to see the molecules that interact with one another in nature. When you begin to have a fuller understanding of the subject off the paper, and into real life, that's when you know you're successful.

but most of all, I chose education because I don't want to stop learning
Ironic, isn't it? As an educator, the students should always be first priority. If they don't understand something, you change yourself. You change your teaching style to match theirs, you look at their socioeconomic background and work around it, you lower your standards to meet them at a point and help lift them up from there, you go learn about their family and what can possibly affect their learning. It's not just about what happens in the classroom, nor is it always the students' fault for not understanding something, or even acting up. You change yourself so that the student learns at his/her full potential, and when the student learns, he/she learn how to better themselves and better their communities.

I want to close by inserting a quote from my EDU111 term paper, because I honestly couldn't have worded it any better.

Teaching had always been the last career choice on my list. I wanted go to medical school after I graduate and become a doctor. If that did not work out, I would do research in a lab and find some new drug that can cure some kind of disease. Finally if all of that fell through, I would teach high school chemistry and educate the minds of our future leaders. I chose to take education as an elective because I knew it would be somewhat practical in my future summer jobs as a tutor, and took the course thinking that I would learn how to teach young minds. However, throughout the course, I learned that there is so much more to teaching than just a simple outline or teaching plan. It was being sensitive to what these students’ lives are outside of the school. It’s funny though. I did mention that throughout my service learning, I constantly thought of what my teachers did wrong in terms of teaching, but I have never thought of how much I complained as a student saying, “they think we don’t have lives outside of this classroom”. Yet, I never took this idea into account on the opposite side as a teacher. Education in the Community revealed this idea to me. The course itself did not hold up to my expectations, because my expectations were completely incorrect and did not match up to what the course is truly about. The course is about integrating worldly views, cultural views, community views, family views, and students’ views into education and using these to become a successful teacher off of those ideas. It is about being a teacher, willing to be educated about the students so that we can better their experience and put them first. It is about learning creative ways to take what they are learning from textbooks and showing them what they can do to better the world and better their community. We, as teachers, need to put our best foot forward as educators so that we can motivate future minds that can hopefully change the world. I can now proudly say that teaching is the first and only career choice on my list now.

I'm handing in my official petition as an Education minor next week and I don't care what anybody says about my career choice. I don't care if I have the potential to be a doctor, or the potential to make hundreds of thousands of dollars as an annual salary. Because to me, teaching is not just a job. It is my passion, my mission, and my identity.

The Pursuit of Happiness: 15 Lessons to Keep in Mind

Just something I stumbled upon:

1. The only person that can ever truly make you happy is yourself. Stop depending on everyone else.

2. People lie, stuff happens. Don’t take it too personally.

3. Want people to think you’re amazing? Start believing you are, and then they will too.

4. Smiling is the ultimate anti-depressant. Smile and laugh out loud, it doesn’t look stupid, I promise.

5. The world is never just black and white, right or wrong, one way or another. Try and see things from as many points of view as possible.

6. "Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final"
— Rainer Maria Rilke

7. Have empathy.

8. Gossip, problems of the past, events you cannot control, negative thoughts and negative people; time spent on these is time poorly wasted.

9. When you're jealous or find yourself filled with hate for someone/something, stop. The only person its hurting is you.

10. Although the newest, most expensive material things may make you feel as if you’re a better person, they won’t hold you at night or listen to you when you need it. Make sure your priorities make sense.

11. Step outside your comfort zone- it’s when you’ll really feel alive.

12. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, the people who really matter, don’t mind

13. Let your emotions out sometimes, humans have them for a reason.

14. Celebrate the things you have. Think only positively of the things you don’t (but would like to have) and they too will come.

15. Love unconditionally ♥.

I'm going to miss being a freshman

I’m going to miss being the center of attention, and I’m going to miss being invited to everything. It’s almost like an obligation for upperclassmen to treat us to things. I’m going to miss being treated like a youngin’, like I don’t know anything. But I guess it would be nice to finally treat new freshmen that way. I’m kind of excited actually.

My last day of classes was today, and honestly, so much has happened my freshman year, I can’t even keep track. I found the best group of friends I could ever ask for. I learned so much more about myself. I finally healed from past scars and got over a stupid boy. I found a church. I figured out what I want to do with my life. And all in all, I got closer to God in so many different ways.

Leaving home was the best thing that I could ever ask from myself. I had grown too comfortable in NYC and Boston just gave so much thrill and spiritual growth. I was thrown into situations that I could only depend on God for, which I am so glad about, and I had the best mentors that I could ever ask for to help guide me to where I am today. My first year has come and gone and I could not have asked for it to be any better. The people that I have developed relationships with and chose to surround myself with were purposely put in my life for a reason and I am so thankful. I’m excited for next year to come and I hope to give each and every freshman I know the same experience; hopefully even leading them to Christ. I guess that will be a goal that I would want to accomplish by the end of the Spring 2012, but of course, all in God’s time.

On GIGs

I started joining this weekly small group meeting thing that InterVarsity holds called "Group Investigating God". Initially, I didn't really like it all that much. The people in it weren't interesting and the discussion wasn't too lively. Every time a question was asked, the typical Sunday School answers would come up. But as time on, awkwardness and tensions decreased and the discussions became more serious, more intellectual, and more applicable.

Last Thursday was our second to last meeting, and it's revealed a lot to me. First off, a group reading God's word can reveal a lot more than an individual reading God's word. When we read our passages, each one of us got a different message from the passage even though we were all reading the same thing. Secondly, I SUCK at admitting I don't know anything, simply because I've been in a teaching/leadership position my whole entire high school life. Being questioning and doubtful was not a characteristic that I could carry with me in that role. As the weeks passed by, more and more question marks appeared on my sheet and it's all thanks to the wonderful people in my group who are able to confidently say that they are curious as to whatever the passage means.

Too bad the year is coming to a close. I hope to engage in another GIG in the coming semesters. I want to see how I grow, as well as how each and every person in the group grows, just to see how God works in each and every aspect of our lives.

Just gotta remind myself that God only pushes you to your limit. I can still handle this, I can still do this.

I'm flipping out. My control-freak ways are going crazy because of all the challenges that God is presenting me at the moment. But I'm always thankful and grateful for all the mentors that He's placed in my life. I need people to listen to me so I can externally process, but more importantly, I need people who can offer their experiences and their insights. Without them, I would not be sane.

It's kind of funny how God works. I haven't been the most consistent with prayer and Bible reading, but He's basically rocked my world so hard that I HAVE to turn to him. I HAVE to realize how powerless I am, and that I have to give it all up to Him.

I really wish I could sum this up all in a Bible verse right now, but I think the one that I read that led to THIS BLOG POST is pretty morbid and indirect. It wouldn't be very uplifting or encouraging at all; it's more of a "oh, they messed up so I should learn from their mistakes" kind of verse.

If you REALLY want to know, Isaiah 42:23-25. Take note of how much God has control over the events of turmoil to Israel, and thus how God has control over our own personal lives.

Please pray:

• That I will have the patience and willingness to give up everything to God
• That I will make the right decision, while keeping everything I learned at BCEC retreat in mind.
• That the mentors in my life can help guide me in a positive and fulfilling way that can glorify God.
• That God will continue to help Northeastern IV grow, and continue to challenge and every individual in the group.

When you can't stop thinking of the messages given during a retreat

Even when you're doing the one thing you love that gets your mind off of ALL things, THAT'S when you know God has been working.

I was sitting on stage today for my Wind Ensemble Band performance, and while we were playing I just couldn't stop getting these ideas out of my head.

This past weekend, I went up to New Hampshire to go to a BCEC college retreat. The theme was Calling, Career, Companionship, and Christ. There's nothing I can really say to truly sum up the whole entire experience, but I think I noticed early on in the retreat why exactly I was there.

Ever since I've started going to BCEC, I've been able to apply the teachings that are being given every Sunday even without me consciously knowing. That's God working. I've been able to see God working in my everyday life and I've been able to identify areas in my life in which I need to get to know God more. But I don't think I've ever thought about my future career/life goals and incorporated God as part of it. I always joke around that I'm going to go to medical school for a year, find a mate, drop out, and marry the doctor. But where's God in this picture? Okay, the doctor could be a strong Christian man, who's attractive and faithful; but what about my career goals? What about my passions?

Yes, marrying a doctor isn't REALLY what I want to do with my life (although that'd be nice). I need to strive for a mission in which I work to solve what burdens me the most. I should be like Nehemiah and go for something that I could constantly be in prayer about, and constantly think about, so much so that I'd drastically change my life just for that purpose alone. I have to admit, I don't really know what my burden is, but until then, I'm going to be a Christian teacher UNTIL I hear my calling. I mean, maybe teaching IS my calling and I just don't know yet, but in time, God will reveal himself to me; not just through career goals, but with companionship as well. I just have to be so completely in love with Jesus that I'm content with the richness of having a relationship with Him. If I do that, somebody who I can meld my mission with, who I can devote myself to and go through the good and the bad with, will come in due time. But I mean, who says I can't be blessed with the gift of singleness?

God definitely revealed a lot to me, and it kept me questioning which is always a good sign. We're probably going to debrief in small groups later this week, so I'm really looking forward to that. May He continue to work in all of our hearts and continue revealing himself throughout our daily/future decision making.

On Burdens and Frustrations

Here it is, the long awaited blog post on my extraordinary Spring Break trip to New Orleans. And when I mean extraordinary, I mean mind blowing, life changing, ground breaking stuff. It was an AMAZING experience that I don't regret devoting my only week off this semester to not only change lives in New Orleans but also to change my own life.

Now keep in mind that KRUP is not just a service trip, but an evangelical trip as well. Throughout the week, we were arranged into small groups which were comprised of non believers and believers. The purpose of these small groups will be discussed.

The first day that we spent in New Orleans was definitely spine chilling. I've seen pictures of the disaster that Katrina has brought and I knew that New Orleans still had a long way to go in terms of rebuilding, but I didn't realize how much it needed relief, rebuilding, and restoring. It broke my heart to see so many empty lots in the Lower Ninth Ward, simply because some engineers designed some levies that could break really easily. After seeing this, I had my heart set on rebuilding this city one house at a time. I had made my reason for being there to build houses and rebuild New Orleans. But it wasn't until Tuesday that I realized how wrong I was.

On top of a terrible day at work, I now had to deal with THINKERS (in terms of Myers Briggs) in my small group who were interested more in philosophical and political reasoning for a theoretically perfect world. There were two things wrong with this picture. One, I HATE philosophy and politics. Two, I was already tired and frustrated from work. I just wanted to sleep and this hour long discussion WASN'T HELPING. I hated the fact that I couldn't share anything that I thought. I didn't want to intrude on what the Small Group Leader wanted to say and say the wrong thing so the only thing I COULD do was stay quiet. I felt like because I couldn't help in any way, I was useless and a burden to the group.

It was then that Dennis and Kati, two student leaders from Intervarsity, stepped in and suggested a bunch of us who were already part of Intervarsity to go into group prayer. We needed to pray for the non believers on the trip, and we really just needed spiritual and physical uplifting. It definitely helped remind me that even though I could feel useless and helpless, there's nothing I can do personally to change the other nonbelievers' points of views. It was all God's job to soften their hearts and open their eyes and ears. I did not need to carry this burden of uselessness because it's ALL GOD doing all the work.

After that night, I just felt like a huge weight was taken off my back. Work started getting easier and I had changed my pessimistic perspective to one of optimism and positivity. Small groups were still challenging to work through but it slowly became the highlight of my day. I enjoyed talking to my small group and listening to their ideas and views on certain topics. There was one night when we finally didn't spend hours on just ONE question, but instead broke off to head to bed; but I felt uneasy. My night was not complete without a deep talk. I decided to sit in on another small group's discussion and joined in on what they were discussing. And you know what? I may not have contributed much but I knew God was working and it showed! Relationships were tightened and people grew closer in ways that you could never imagine in a week.

Overall, KRUP was an amazing experience. I took away an experience of a lifetime that changed my life and strengthened my relationship with God. It was a week where I was challenged, but through that learned to trust God and put all my faith in Him. I hope that I will continue to grow in Him as years go on. Even though I've grown up in the church, even though I know how to answer all the questions Bible study leaders throw at me, even though I may know how to answer certain questions in the most perfect way to represent Christianity, there is still so much to learn and so much God can show me. I hope He will continue to open my eyes to these opportunities and give me the courage to throw myself outside of my comfort zone like he did at KRUP.

Katrina Relief Urban Plunge

Tomorrow marks the beginning of my first and last spring break I'll ever experience at Northeastern. Now why do I say that? Because I will be on co-op for the rest of my spring semesters after this year and will not be able to take a week off just to do whatever the heck I want to. Originally I had planned to go to New York with my roommates and just hang out in the city. I wanted to show them my hometown and what kind of environment I grew up in and how it's changed me into who I am today. But after talking to some people, I figured it would be best to spend my last spring break ever to do something life changing; I decided to go with InterVarsity to New Orleans to build houses and change lives.

The trip will start off with a 27 hour bus ride (don't ask me how I'm going to survive, because chances are I won't and I'll go insane) followed by a tour of the New Orleans disaster areas and where we'll be working. When the weekday starts up, we will begin to gut houses, build walls, and even knock down some. After a long day of manual labor, we're going to debrief, and settle into the word of God and... I don't really know, which is why I really have no idea what I'm going to expect.

I bought myself a moleskine book from Barnes and Nobles yesterday and I'm really excited to write in it throughout my trip. It's not going to be like any other journal I've had. Instead, it's going to be spiritually based and Christ Centered. I've always wanted a place where I can organize all my thoughts during fellowship and church, and I finally found the right book to! Plus, I get to finally use my awesome Hi-tech pens from Taiwan :) I wrote my first entry in it last night about my thoughts, prayers, and what the journal itself is going to be consisted of. Basically everything I just wrote above, and then some. There are a few private thoughts that I've reserved for my printed journal only. I figured it's time to stop posting all my private thoughts on the public database we call the Internet, which is why I'm really happy with my moleskine purchase. YAY!

A few prayer points I'd like to make for all you who still follow me:

• Pray for my safety as well as the others that I'm traveling with and pray that we'll change not just the people of New Orleans' lives but the lives of the people we're working with; especially those who are non-believers and are seeking.
• Pray that the non-believers will be open minded and the Holy Spirit will be able to work in their hearts as they begin to seek God.
• Pray that we will be continually renewed spiritually and physically so that we may be able to do God's work with all our heart, mind, and strength.
• and last but not least, pray that God's love will penetrate through our words and our actions throughout the week.

Thanks! I'll update in a week, after I get back with pictures, laughs, love, and lols.

Risk Taking

I feel like I'm constantly living in the moment, trying to seek out the next most exciting thing I can do while I'm young. In this year alone, I've ran around Orlando Studios with my sister going on every life-threatening roller coaster out there, I'm planning to go to New Orleans this spring break for Katrina relief, I'm going to go skydiving sometime this year, and I'm going all the way to China this summer to study Chinese and have a life changing break despite the fact that I may experience culture shock.

While all these plans are accumulating in my head, the one question that keeps popping up is when is the next time I'll be able to do that? That's the one thing that's driving me and I'm really excited to see where it takes me. I want to look back on this year through all my photos and just reminisce on how each event has changed me and what each moment has brought to me, whether that's a higher GPA, a new skill learned, or closer friendships. It's in my personality to be restless, and I would hate to waste my time doing things I could do some other time in the future. It's not every day that I'll be able to go on a plane and jump 2500 feet up in the air. It's not every day that I'll be able to go to China and learn about Chinese culture with THAT group of people. These once-in-a-lifetime events are what I'm after, what I'm craving, what I WANT.

With that being said, it drives me INSANE when people don't see my decision making as wise. They then try to avoid experiences that I force myself through simply because they want to live life safely. They want to do things that they could do during any other break because it's safe and comfortable. I'm sick of being in my comfort zone all the time. I'm sick of trying to convince them to look through my perspective. It's time to back away from them and let them live their lives. It's my time to venture out while I still have the time and money.

A New Year, A New Me

Not really. Just because it's a change of a year doesn't necessarily mean anything's different. I realized that I have neglected this page for way too long so now it is time to UPDATE!

School started in early January and it's been treating me well. Classes are amazing as always, with the exception of orgo, and friends are amazing as always. It's nice to know that I no longer have to worry about stuff like trying to plug myself in somewhere. I've already settled into college with a home church to permanently go to, and a solid group of friends that I can constantly go to in times of need. All I have to worry about now is my paper for my Inquiries to Arts and Humanities class and remember to post on discussion boards in Blackboard. It's all a matter of time management and trying to figure out where my time goes.

Lately though, I've gotten very lazy and apathy has steadily increased. My care for the world just doesn't exist. I hate volunteering my time and I hate talking about politics and social justice. Tell me again why I'm in a Social Justice Honors class and I'm giving up my last spring break ever to go to New Orleans to rebuild houses from the Hurricane Katrina disaster? Maybe there's some kind of message going on here. But in any case, it's not just my care for the world but my care for my own education as well. I'm no longer putting in as much time as effort as I did my first week of the new semester. I constantly procrastinate and push everything off until last minute. It's a terrible habit that I really need to kick, especially if I want to increase my GPA to get a nice co-op next year.

My summer plans are finally kicked into gear. I've submitted everything for my application to be a TA at CTY, my application to be an OL on Northeastern's campus this summer, and I've already been selected for the China Dialogue for all of July and August. All that's left now is to decide which one to choose. As of now, I haven't really given much thought to CTY because my chances of getting in are very slim and I could honestly care less about the program. I think I might drop the application altogether if I get into the OL program because I just don't want to deal with telephone interviews; I don't have time for them. I REALLY want to be an OL but it's such a competitive program, so I'm hoping and praying that I'll get the job. I wrote an amazing song for my 5-7 minute presentation during my interview, and I honestly LOVE the school SO much; I don't see why I won't get the job (just sayin'). My meeting for my China Dialogue is tomorrow so I'm hoping I will love the people there because if I don't then there's not chance in hell I'm going. I want to be able to like the people there so I can enjoy my summer and have fun. Hopefully everything works out. I'm leaving it in God's hands.

There was really no meaning in this post. I guess it was more to update on life and whatnot. It's Chinese New Year for another 2 minutes so Gong Xi Fah Tsai, Gong Hay Fat Choi to all!

I miss home cooked Chinese food :(