I don't know what it is about being in Boston, but it just gives me a whole different life. It's like a separate world from the life I have at home, but there is still some sort of way of combining the two. I have my own set of friends in Boston, my own set of rules, and my own family. Yet, as I step foot back into New York, everything feels so different. Everything is changing without me being there and I feel as if I'm an outsider. I don't know what group I belong in, I don't know who to hang out with, and I'm constantly reminded of my friends back in Boston.
Remember the first day of Freshman year back in September, when you would compare the new friends you made in college to your friends back at home? I feel like it's the complete opposite now. Everything my friends say or do, I'm reminded of memories of my new home in Boston. I can't even call New York my home anymore because it truly does not feel like it. I feel like I'm just living in a dream and I'll wake up soon, in two weeks.
I think the hardest part about being home is bringing the two worlds together. Yet, this has been my greatest accomplishment since I've been home. My home church is slowly falling apart, and the leaders don't know what to do to sustain the fellowship any longer. They have no fresh ideas and they have no way of growing people towards God. As soon as I got home, that was the first thing I addressed to my friends. I gave them the idea of small groups and how the small groups at my "home" church in Boston did things. I gave them the basic idea of how we go over the sermon and reinforce it so that it sticks. The best news I have received when I came back to Boston for the weekend was an email that told me that they were doing a discussion on last week's sermon. I hope to follow up on this idea and continue helping the fellowship.
There's definitely a reason why I'm here in Boston, and there are signs of me never returning back home for good. There will be people who hate me for it and there will be people who love me for it. I'm at a crossroad where I can continue to grow in God with a great support group and a great church, or I can continue growing my real home church in NY to be the support group and build a great church. I think I still need some time to think about it because I'm truly not sure what the future holds. We'll see where God brings me in 4 years and we'll see then.
On a happier note, I played for graduation yesterday (reason why I'm only in Boston for 4 days) and I've never been happier to be part of it. It reminded me of where I'll be in 4 years and how much knowledge (hopefully) I will gain from it, but only if this is the path that I'm supposed to be following, Lord willing.
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