In the Beginning

God created the Heavens and the Earth
Everything that we have, that we’re provided with, God made and gave to us. This whole entire Earth, with every living creature to each and every complicated cell in our body. I can’t help but be amazed by how in every aspect of science, whether it be chemistry, biology, astrology, or even geology, God leaves his fingerprint there. There’s no way an explosion could have left something so complicated, so amazing. Even when we think about how much there is left to learn; Think about how much time is spent in med school simply memorizing everything there is to know about the body. But that’s not even all of it. Can you imagine how every cell communicates with another? It all works out in some complicated manner that even mankind cannot explain. There’s no way anything but God made it that way.

What a majestic God. What an amazing God.


God created man in his own image
When Adam and Eve were created, God created them out of love. He commands them not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Yet, man still goes against God’s word and eats of the tree. As he does that, he doesn’t just let sin enter the world. He let fear enter the world. Originally, they weren’t afraid of people judging one another. We were meant to be frolicking about the Garden of Eden in our nakedness with God. We were meant to live with no shame. But after Adam eats of the fruit, he realizes he is naked and sews together fig leaves to try and cover his nakedness up.

Our world is driven by fear. We’re afraid of dying, afraid of failure, afraid of what’s to come… Adam was afraid of being exposed. We’re afraid of being exposed and having people around us see that flaw in us. We’re afraid of shame and condemnation.

God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them
Even after Adam betrayed the only command God gave him, to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God still showed them compassion and love. He tells them to remove their fig leaves and made garments from the animals that he created and covered their nakedness. That way, he was able to cover Adam and Eve’s fear. It was love.

In the same way, God also tells us to remove our fig leaves. We need to uncover our fears that we try to hide from God and from everyone around us, and we allow God to come and cover us. We allow God to be our provider and protect us from all the attacks from the world around us. He clothes us in Jesus’s garments and tells us “Do not be afraid. I am with you” so that we can now stand before him and the world, unashamed. It is love.

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So many things ran through my mind at Intervarsity retreat. It was the last night where everything clicked together in place and I couldn’t even vocally describe what was going in my mind. Everything was just so amazing and I was in awe of how amazing God truly is. I looked at myself, and I kept thinking of all the flaws I had. I made a post previously about how I’m the most selfish judgmental person in the world, and listed out every reason why anybody would hate me. My fear, my reason for why I had covered myself in fig leaves was the fear of being alone. I didn’t want people to run away from me because of my flaws. I didn’t want anybody to leave me alone. I was afraid to be alone. I am afraid of being alone.

Time and time again, Jack would tell me, “it’s okay. You have God” but I always treated it with a grain of salt. God could never help me feel like I’m physically talking to anybody. I could never relate and have an actual conversation with him. It wasn’t the same as talking to someone like my suitemate. Oh how wrong I was.

I spent all this free time where I just talk to people because that’s how I like to waste time. I never once spent it to reflect on God’s word and spend it with him. I never once turned my focus towards him. I knew he was upset, I knew I was a bad Christian, but I still went on with it. The fact that a God so majestic as he, can look past all my flaws and still love me despite the fact that I treat him like crap was so hard to grasp. I started bawling because I never once recognized how truly amazing God’s love was. I always sing of it in praise songs, but it never really hit me until retreat.

After that weekend, everything just fell into place. I had everything I needed: I had the right support system, I had the right people around me, and I loved the fact that everyone just watched out for one another. I’m starting to do devotions with my suitemates and we’re going to keep each other accountable in Bible reading and prayer. I’m really excited to see how much we’ll grow spiritually. Living with these girls is such a blessing and I’m so glad I’m finally going to have someone to force me to spend time with God despite my laziness.

Everything is turning out well and I’ve never been more spiritually replenished.

Because of grace
Because of His mercy
I stand here unashamed