In the Beginning

God created the Heavens and the Earth
Everything that we have, that we’re provided with, God made and gave to us. This whole entire Earth, with every living creature to each and every complicated cell in our body. I can’t help but be amazed by how in every aspect of science, whether it be chemistry, biology, astrology, or even geology, God leaves his fingerprint there. There’s no way an explosion could have left something so complicated, so amazing. Even when we think about how much there is left to learn; Think about how much time is spent in med school simply memorizing everything there is to know about the body. But that’s not even all of it. Can you imagine how every cell communicates with another? It all works out in some complicated manner that even mankind cannot explain. There’s no way anything but God made it that way.

What a majestic God. What an amazing God.


God created man in his own image
When Adam and Eve were created, God created them out of love. He commands them not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Yet, man still goes against God’s word and eats of the tree. As he does that, he doesn’t just let sin enter the world. He let fear enter the world. Originally, they weren’t afraid of people judging one another. We were meant to be frolicking about the Garden of Eden in our nakedness with God. We were meant to live with no shame. But after Adam eats of the fruit, he realizes he is naked and sews together fig leaves to try and cover his nakedness up.

Our world is driven by fear. We’re afraid of dying, afraid of failure, afraid of what’s to come… Adam was afraid of being exposed. We’re afraid of being exposed and having people around us see that flaw in us. We’re afraid of shame and condemnation.

God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them
Even after Adam betrayed the only command God gave him, to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God still showed them compassion and love. He tells them to remove their fig leaves and made garments from the animals that he created and covered their nakedness. That way, he was able to cover Adam and Eve’s fear. It was love.

In the same way, God also tells us to remove our fig leaves. We need to uncover our fears that we try to hide from God and from everyone around us, and we allow God to come and cover us. We allow God to be our provider and protect us from all the attacks from the world around us. He clothes us in Jesus’s garments and tells us “Do not be afraid. I am with you” so that we can now stand before him and the world, unashamed. It is love.

——-

So many things ran through my mind at Intervarsity retreat. It was the last night where everything clicked together in place and I couldn’t even vocally describe what was going in my mind. Everything was just so amazing and I was in awe of how amazing God truly is. I looked at myself, and I kept thinking of all the flaws I had. I made a post previously about how I’m the most selfish judgmental person in the world, and listed out every reason why anybody would hate me. My fear, my reason for why I had covered myself in fig leaves was the fear of being alone. I didn’t want people to run away from me because of my flaws. I didn’t want anybody to leave me alone. I was afraid to be alone. I am afraid of being alone.

Time and time again, Jack would tell me, “it’s okay. You have God” but I always treated it with a grain of salt. God could never help me feel like I’m physically talking to anybody. I could never relate and have an actual conversation with him. It wasn’t the same as talking to someone like my suitemate. Oh how wrong I was.

I spent all this free time where I just talk to people because that’s how I like to waste time. I never once spent it to reflect on God’s word and spend it with him. I never once turned my focus towards him. I knew he was upset, I knew I was a bad Christian, but I still went on with it. The fact that a God so majestic as he, can look past all my flaws and still love me despite the fact that I treat him like crap was so hard to grasp. I started bawling because I never once recognized how truly amazing God’s love was. I always sing of it in praise songs, but it never really hit me until retreat.

After that weekend, everything just fell into place. I had everything I needed: I had the right support system, I had the right people around me, and I loved the fact that everyone just watched out for one another. I’m starting to do devotions with my suitemates and we’re going to keep each other accountable in Bible reading and prayer. I’m really excited to see how much we’ll grow spiritually. Living with these girls is such a blessing and I’m so glad I’m finally going to have someone to force me to spend time with God despite my laziness.

Everything is turning out well and I’ve never been more spiritually replenished.

Because of grace
Because of His mercy
I stand here unashamed

Church Reflection

I've been church hopping the past few weeks and i've been very unsuccessful with finding a church that I'm comfortable with. Perhaps it's because I don't know what I want. I want good theology, but I want good application at the same time. I want a good speaker that can keep me intrigued, but I want him to be preaching like he knows everything like the back of his hand. I want good music, but I want the praise team to be careful in what music they choose. Frankly, I'm not even satisfied with my own home church sometimes, but I still go. Maybe that's the same scenario with everyone else. They find a church, make a lot of friends, and stay in that church the whole time they're here in college.

Today's church was the one that I knew the most people in, but the "good" pastor who everyone loves wasn't there because he's at some conference in South Africa. The senior pastor who spoke wasn't a great speaker, the music wasn't amazing and it didn't really help me reflect, and standing next to a tone deaf person who was constantly sharp didn't help with the experience either. It was very similar to my church in terms of beliefs, people, schedule, etc. but I'm always out there searching for some kind of flaw in something.

Perhaps I need to open my eyes and stop being so fickle about my choices. There is absolutely no way I can find a church that's PERFECT, but I just need to find a place that will help me grow spiritually. I still have 2 churches to check out in the next coming weeks, and I'll probably be visiting some of the other churches I went to and liked for a second time. Hopefully I'll find my fit soon.

YouTube Your Story

Oh who's that? THAS RIGHT. THATS WONGFU PRODUCTIONNNNSSSSS!! I've been wanting to meet them since like, FIVE years ago when they did their FIRST East coast tour, and today was my chance. Kappa Phi Lambda at NEU arranged an amazing show featuring all the Asian American YouTube stars like KevJumba, NigaHiga, WongFu Productions and they basically did what they did at ISA except this time, there actually was a meet and greet, and KNOWING PEOPLE MAKES IT 100 TIMES BETTER.

Thankfully, I have the bestest mentor EVER who's in KPL so she was able to get me front row seats to the show so I could get great pictures (that you can find on Facebook). I kind of feel bad for leaving all my friends, but seriously, who WOULDN'T pass up that chance?? I was one of the first few to go up there and take pictures with them, but none of the kappas knew how to use a DSLR -___-; so I kind of got crap group photos, but I'm just glad I got to finally MEET all of them. SO GLAD I came to Northeastern. LET THE JEALOUSY BEGIN!

Sorry, pointless post.

Blog for Water

Water.


We never think about it. It's always within reach and nothing ever goes wrong with it. You're sick? Drink water. You're thirsty from a long run? Drink water. We take water for granted.

Water is such an essential part of our lives. We need it to thrive and live, yet a billion people in the world don't even have access to it. Women have to travel over 20 miles just to get access to drinking water, but who says it's safe? It could be thriving of water-bourne illnesses like salmonella, e-coli, cholera, hepatitis A, and many others. So tell me again, why isn't safe drinking water a human right?




A simple donation can make all the difference. Charity: water is an organization that focuses on getting clean water to as many people in the world as possible. They donate 100% of their money to building wells so that villages can get safe drinking water. $20 can give clean water to a person for over 20 years. So maybe instead of spending that $20 on your next sushi outing that can only last one meal, why don't you spend that $20 to save a person's life?

This year, I'm donating my birthday once again. I don't want any presents for my birthday. All I want is for you to donate to charity: water so that people all around the world can get access to safe drinking water. The campaign page will be put up sometime in November. Please keep this idea safe in your heart and pray for those in need. Pray that people will start opening up their eyes to things other then global warming and poverty. Pray that this water may be beneficial to their bodies and to their growth. Water is a global crisis and it is in need of international awareness. Spread the word.

My Worst Fear

is losing something close to me, whether that's my camera that was a month's worth of experiences and moments I'll never be able to capture again, or my $2,000 macbook that my parents are never going to want to replace.

But what I'm even more afraid of isn't materialistic. It's something worth so much more and that is a friendship. I'm terribly afraid of being TOO clingy to some people, and I'm terribly afraid of what they are going to think of me. If I send a text to a friend and they don't text me back for a while, WILD THINGS go through my mind. Do they hate me? Do they think I'm annoying? Maybe they're just busy at the moment and can't answer my text. Are they even worth worrying over? I'm just so ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to be left alone with no friends and nobody who cares about me. I'm so scared of being alone. That's why I constantly surround myself with people all the time. I hate staying in my room and being antisocial. If I'm not out and about surrounding myself with people, I'm in my room surrounding myself with something else like flute or chemistry.

I'm monophobic.

Has texting the same person for over 3 months skewed my outlook on friendships? I was always so paranoid about WHEN he would text back, WHAT he would text, WHAT he was doing instead of texting me. I keep thinking that everybody else is exactly like him and I keep worrying about WHEN that particular friend would text back and WHAT they were doing instead of texting me. But I'm always so afraid to be TOO clingy that they'll start hating me and run away from me.

I just want to be friends :C

Things I Learned While Being Back at Home

There's a reason why I moved away from home
On Saturday afternoon when I was out with my friends, my mother called me to rebuke me for not calling her to tell her I was not at home. She basically went on a rant about how even though I'm at home, I should still be spending time with her and my dad. I'm sorry I'm using my time wisely and hanging out with friends when YOU'RE CLEARLY AT WORK. -___-;

Today, I went to watch a movie with my parents and after the movie my dad kept asking me questions about how Facebook could possibly make so much money if they don't charge anybody for the services. He kept asking me irrelevant questions like, where my sister was, what she was doing, how her weekend was. I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT A STALKER SORRY. "Oh, I thought you knew EVERYTHING"

I should spend every long weekend back in Boston
There's nothing at home except for friends to visit. I have no clothes here, no resources, nothing to study, nothing to even WASH myself with (or at least the stuff that I usually use). There was absolutely no point in me coming back home. I kept complaining nonstop about how I wish I were back in Boston. All my friends at the moment are there, and everything I could possibly ask for is there. I'm missing out on everything.-- My AASIA family is throwing a party at one of the mentor's apartments and I'm not even going to be there.

I seriously cannot stand my life back in NYC. I know it sounds terrible to say, but I have nothing here. Sure there are some friends, but there are friends back in Boston as well--people that I'm going to spend the next 5 years with.

Staying in Boston for Summer break next year and becoming an Orientation Leader sounds like an amazing option at the moment.

I'm A Morning Person

In the past, I wouldn't consider myself one. I hated waking up in the morning and getting ready and I was almost always grouchy whenever anybody spoke to me. But being in college really made me realize that I am in fact, a morning person.

But Why?
I love the quietness of the morning. Nobody's awake yet and the sun is just starting to peek out of the horizon. The darkness and stillness of the day break is probably the best part of my day and if anything, makes me most awake and ready for the rest of the day.

There was this one morning that I absolutely hated, and it was the morning of my roommate's Biology exam. She has bio at 8am in the morning, so once my alarm rang for 7am, she jumped out of bed, flipped on the lights, and started studying. That morning, I wasn't able to surround myself with the dark-almost morning light, and all tranquility was lost in a flick of a switch. I hated that she was awake the same time I was and I hated that she was taking up my personal space and time that I loved in the morning. I was used to her sleeping in every morning, with no desire to get up and go to her class on time. That morning was ruined.

I'm still trying to figure out why it took me until college to realize that I'm a morning person. I'm not exactly the most energetic at 7am in the morning, but I'm not the grouchy life-hating person in the corner either. I muster up enough energy to put a smile on my face, and with that, the rest of my day is set.